How To Make Nose Smaller On Camera

Mr. Toledo was a lover of absolute cleanliness. That stain on the window of the office should be inadmissible. He twisted his mouth into the door and shouted a name. Came when a woman, dark hair and heavy. He wore a blue apron and was holding dark gray cloth grille.
- What is this Irene? "Said the man commanding tone.
She was speechless, a little terror, and partly because it would ignore how ruthless now.
After a period of overstuffed look, said Irene
- Is the window, sir?
- No! This, this here. Can not you see?
whole body of Mr. Toledo had been twisted about the stain on the glass, lay lifeless at the end of his finger cadaver.
The woman came and looked at the tiny speck the size of a flea. "Then I deal
sir," she said.
"No, Now it's late, I need the office. I have to use well. Morning comes early to me. At eight o'clock that glass must be clean. Irene retired swearing
maximum efficiency for the next day.
At seven, he was the poor scrubbing the stain. First undertook a simple damp cloth. Then, with a multipurpose cleaner and a hard sponge. Later, about a quarter to eight, tried muriatic acid and the tip of a knife. But the stain would not budge for anything. And they became eight, and she was crouched against the glass, and his back and could hear the screams of Mr. Toledo.
- Did not I tell him to come over early to address this issue?
- Lord, I came an hour ago, but the stain does not come out.
- Did you see me stupid face? Toledo
picked up the phone and ordered
- Leticia, I prepare the liquidation of Irene Rivero. Tomorrow it will pass.
And without even looking at the woman, vomiting a "Gather all that and go"

Toledo had things to attend that evening. The next day would meet the Board, and as head of current accounts, would have many questions to answer to customers in arrears and other issues. The Board had to explain everything. Were behind the times that communion of executives concerned about the performance of the company, now the "high command" was formed by a scourge of jovencillos germinated in universities, led by the child absurd that the worthy Mr. Pastrana, father and founder of the firm, had the ill lucky breed. And in supine ignorance, children wonder around with an air of defiant gesture understood. But a hostile Board was not concerned. A nobody could touch him. Thirty years of service were little and a dismissal was out of convenience for business economics.
Enraged at the expense of his own thoughts, Toledo brain sank in the PC monitor and was accommodating numbers to five in the afternoon.
Behind her, like a tiny dagger he pecked her neck and fingered the soul, lay the stain on the window.
Late in the afternoon, stopped all activity and coalesced against the glass, utility knife in hand, with a firm decision to remove the stain disturbing.
did not take long to realize that it was not a stain but rather a dent in the glass, able to confuse the viewer because it carried a tiny hollow blackness of darkness.
was only one way to get rid of the convicted black spot. Stood up, grabbed his chair from the back and hit the large glazed with furniture legs, producing Instantly a tiny, irregular tessellation which quickly spread across the surface of the glass. He then picked up the phone and ordered
-Leticia, call a glazier who can come early tomorrow. Has broken my window glass.

Between eight and nine, maddened Leticia Toledo, who had to call the glass works at least four times to find out why the delay. Finally, at about quarter past nine company he was present.
"For the afternoon we have solved, Mr. Toledo said the glazier. We take measures, cut it in the shop and come to settle.
- No way! Need this resolved now. Why not come earlier? Glass
The officer made a gesture of annoyance and quickly reassembled.
"Well," he said, when you find someone to do it "right now," coménteme who he is, that I will be curious to know. Come on, "she told her assistant and headed for the door.
"Come here and not make the idiot.
As always in these cases, Mr. Toledo had to acquiesce to the conditions imposed by the stained glass, as well as putting a costly apology for the title of "idiot." So it was like always: when was that it took them more.

Your participation in the Board meeting was anything but happy. The Directors are focused on Galindez & Baumann account. Just that account. They asked all the details and it quickly became clear that Toledo had been manipulating the movements. The man could not stop sweating while doing rhetorical defenses trying to evade questions, amalgamating the specific issue with mentions of his loyalty to the company, its thirty years of service and impeccable dossier. No one dared to accuse him of anything, but the most committed of interpellation, Javier Pastrana, the young president apologized to all present considering that Mr. Toledo surely he was exhausted and I thought it appropriate to close the issue there.
That bastard. He spent the day contradicting almost every front: "Such practices are out of fashion, Toledo", "These systems have already been overcome, and the Internet" this "and the Department of Systems" that "and now showed charitable to their peers. In the eyes of Toledo, its apparent righteous deed was actually a sign of the most vulgar hypocrisy.
returned to his office with the dejection written on the face. The window was wide open, no glass of any kind and a stormy wind ruffled her desk when opened the door to enter.
He put some papers in his briefcase and left immediately.
Returning to the four-master, and in an hour left to set, "said Leticia Toledo query tibia. You okay? "He added.
"Yes. Well, well, he said, as thinking about something else. I recall then. Until tomorrow. Drove
disturbed by the highway, which still had a good rhythm going. Fell right where it always, and stopped to refuel. Then he parked and sat at a table in the bright bar of the service station. Realized that there really was hungry.
called hamburgers. He ate and drank and his mind began to recover. What did they have to reproach these beardless, those little cockroaches drawer? Of course he had tampered with the few of Galindez & Baumann. That company had closed its doors overnight and the heads were missing. Accounting Toledo a trick designed to steal the last three payments Galindez formalized before closing, making them disappear from your account current with the certainty that nobody would come to claim. No times were far off retirement and it was time to take a capital. Mr. Pastrana had been dead for over a year. He never would have made a pig, but at Xavier this ... It was a good child, who had inherited a boom that was not worthy. And now the usufruct at the expense of people like him, whose selfless efforts had undoubtedly contributed more than anyone to build the Company. Why should I leave empty-handed? Was it fair? If the law did not ensure justice, he would do justice outside the law.
And so, with a full stomach, Toledo found the strength to justify the embezzlement to his own conscience. Now fix a strategy. While it was impossible to clean completely the suspicions of fraud, it would be impossible to prove the fraud in court. Would all confusing enough so that nobody could prove anything. And if they wanted to fire him, later, his compensation amounted to a small fortune.

Toledo arrived the next day at eight o'clock, as usual. Leticia asked him not to pass the calls. He entered his office and was pleased to see the large window dressed immaculately city and sky, and a brightness moving. He sat in comfortable swivel chair and fell into the motley parade of reports and applications Checking System. Corrido worked until ten, trying to give form to your drawing. Then, a principle of lumbar contracture and was told that time for a breather. Stood up, stretched, stretching his arms towards the ceiling clasped up, made a couple of moves back and neck elongation, instant coffee was prepared and returned to his seat when he froze in front of the glass, immersed in utter confusion. In the exact same spot as the previous day, embedded in the glass with equal determination and equal blackness, could be seen again that dark speck, tiny, the size of a flea.
The scene made no sense. He himself had seen that glass, cracked into a thousand pieces like the parched soil of the Atacama. He himself had seen the empty frame window, bringing the river winds. And he was delighted this morning with the cleanliness of new glass. What was it that spot now? The question had no answer or would have, nor was the time to address this issue. Very upset, Toledo went to his chair and unsteadily trembling cup of coffee in hand, sat down and sank back on the screen. It took half an hour
realize that she could not concentrate. The stain was a poisonous asp spectating crouching behind him. There was no way to ignore their presence. No longer a simple stain, was a spot that had survived the removal of glass lying, a stain absurd, contrary to reason. Now it was a mysterious stain was unknown mind just bugging me from behind.
For hours the man tried and stressed with homework, but there was no case. His eyes looked ahead and looked back his thoughts. Averaging
afternoon Toledo banged his palm on the desk, turned off the PC, turned 180 ° the seat and crouched against the stain to observe at close range. I could have sworn that it was now larger. Trying to learn, the pecked the tip of the pen. Quickly check again appeared to be more of a dent in the glass. Continued with the gentle hammering and now, strongly stain began to spread, visibly increasing in size. Soon surpassed the thickness of the body of the pen. He tried again but now hit the pen sank several inches into what appeared to be more of a hole. But a strange hole because it was not possible to see the piece of pen out across the glass. Insert proved almost entirely and nothing was out the other side.
Fear gave way to curiosity, and Toledo was a long time playing with his discovery, while the strange hollowness continued to spread in the glass. Toledo put his hand to the elbow and pulled it out again, and did not see the hand of the other side of the glass, I did not feel the cold breeze of the outdoors. In addition, the hand disappeared into the blackness pierced the surface defined only by the glass, and reappeared during removal. It was as if a new space had appeared in the office. Something that lay between the window and abroad. In addition, the hand collided with anything, and could stir the cavity without touching any object, even bending the arm back. With his arm stuck in the hole to the shoulder, tried to take a punch in the face, but sensed the arm, without seeing it, go long to the nape of the neck. It felt strange and funny. His arm was in another universe.
a half hour, the stain had size of a tire. Toledo could not resist the temptation to get to investigate. He searched for a flashlight in the drawer of his desk and plunged headlong into the hole, torch in hand. I was already up to his waist when he said, visibly moved
- my God! What is that?
took off the feet of the floor and hurried to finish the entry process.
When he had completely disappeared into the hole, the stain began to close behind him. And none of it came from the hole while it is closed. Not a foot, nor a cry, not a word. Several minutes delayed spot on contract. Decreased to its initial size and further out of sight.

The next day, no one knew anything about Toledo. It was strange because it was never AWOL. After three days of absence and in view of Toledo had no relatives in the city, the company gave to the police. A few hours later, two officers showed up to collect information. He asked many questions to Leticia, his secretary.
-arrived at eight o'clock, as usual, "he said. He asked me not to pass the calls. He worked until noon, then went to lunch and returned half an hour. I repeated that call did not happen and remained in his office until I left. Whenever I go before him. The next day did not come and I saw that he had forgotten the portfolio. Had not even closed. Yes I noticed, but a little, nothing more.
The officers entered the Toledo office and closed the door behind him. They noted the location, stirred the wastebasket, turned on the PC and wrote down the name of the last opened files, checked the closets, they found there, the jar of instant coffee, opened it carefully, prepared two cups of coffee, sat down and took a snack which lasted until the end of the search. After thanking Leticia withdrew their cooperation.

next day after the announcement, a subject entered the office Javier Pastrana. He had short black hair, almost shaved, and a very neat goatee. He wore a black suit lapels and a slight brightness minimum mate, a lilac shirt and a curious black tie with pink polka dots. She wore a gold watch and a bracelet below. He called himself Carlos Garcia.
"Sit down please," said the young entrepreneur "Want a drink?
"No, thanks," said the subject while sitting down.
Both faces were serious and tense.
"The work is done," said the visitor.
Pastrana sat against the back and tried to question.
"Actually, Mr. Toledo only has been missing for four days and we are not certain ... "Friend Pastrana
interrupted the subject abruptly, understand me well I'm going to tell you, because I repeat: Mr. Toledo is no more. "I understand," stammered
Javier.
"The work is done," repeated the bearded. Pastrana
modeled a wide smile to cut the tension.
"Okay, okay. But tell me, as they did? There is no record of any accidents, no body, no evidence.
"As I said at the time, Javier, we use a new, very new, very effective and very clean. We have specialized in this and we are the best. But I can not give you details of the procedure.
"I understand, Pastrana was silence and added. And the technique that you use Is it very painful for the victim?
"It was not the case here. As you requested, we focus on the mere disappearance and Mr. Toledo has not suffered at all. But in other applications, this technology can be extremely painful. In fact, we can cause so much pain as possible to inflict upon a human being unbearable pain in every cubic centimeter of the body. Horrible pain, suffering slow, sharp, unbearable. Everything depends on the service contracted by the client.
black man recounted the horror of all with the same ease and callously says a football game.
Pastrana, however, paled compared to that description.
- How many people are engaged ... such services? He asked.
-not our left hand know what the right "was the reply.
Pastrana opened a desk drawer and pulled out a check already made. I look for a moment and handed it over.
"Be you, what we agreed.
He kept it inside the suit without looking
Thanks.
- Do not think to check the number?
"No need. No one would commit the folly of deceiving. Pastrana
smiled while swallowing saliva.
Before leaving, Mr. Garcia turned and added one more thing.
"You forgot me. Tomorrow morning I concur a person from our agency for a final "clean" in the office of Mr. Toledo. Staff will go through a phone company.
Pastrana was alarmed.
"But the police have registered the site. Now
Garcia grinned.
"Do not worry about it. Just be sure to be let in..
Subject Pastrana went and collapsed in his chair. Thought as he had done as he watched his left index finger was digging in the right index fingernail. Toledo deserved. He had done nothing to try to approach the new leadership. On the contrary, had cheated him. He had not left alternative. And yet he had the delicacy of giving the innocence of a painless demise.
picked up the phone.
-Leticia. Tomorrow morning will staff the telephone company to perform the installation in the Toledo office. Make it happen and make sure no one bothers.
- Yes, sir.

The man was a real character. Very low, slightly obese, had a round head and peeled the center. A short and upturned nose on that barely kept his round glasses. He wore a gray jumpsuit and carrying a bag of aluminum tools. "You're
Leticia said with a playful smile.
-Si Señor, "said Leticia, which was" sir "even his own cat.
- Have you seen? I read it in their eyes because their eyes speak Did you know? And perhaps, he also spied the name on the card that has turned on the pocket of her blouse.
both laughed.
"You must be the phone company," said Leticia.
"Yes, and I come to work in the office of Mr. Toledo. But now I have more desire to stay here talking to you. Leticia
stood up and took him to the office while threatening him.
"Look that my boyfriend is very tall and very jealous.
-Si. But it is not.
The door closed leaving Leticia out, the man in and smiles all around. But scarcely had the door closed, the cleaner was very serious.
opened the bag on the desk and in there could be an interesting set of clamps, bags with things, vials and other curious objects. And everything carefully encased in a polyurethane foam tray, where each object wore a precise cavity.
The cleaner was placed on latex gloves and began to arrange the different elements on the desktop, including a special bag for waste, a tissue paper dispenser, a marker, a watercolor paintbrush bristles blue, a large bottle as high as half filled with amber-colored gelatin, a jeweler's forceps with very fine tip, a container like a can of shoe polish cream, smaller, with a pressed powder pellet inside and several other bottles and jars .
was placed a kind of headband with a flashlight and a jeweler's loupe over the right eye. It then began to roam the surface of the window looking for the speck that had devoured Toledo. He found five minutes later. It was a black speck the size of a grain of pollen. Quickly took the marker and drew a green circle around the pot. Then, with a dropper dropped several drops of a liquid very fluid over the pressed powder pellet. With the brush of blue bristles removed the mixture until it forms a clear syrup. With absolute caution, painted with the syrup throughout the area within the green circle. A few seconds later, the treated surface was liquefied and began to boil, while all the window began to tremble and shake a glass behind a speaker to all volume. Another few seconds and everything calmed down. The cleanser left five minutes for the syrup works. Then attach the clip fine, went back to fit the microscope and found that the speck was successfully removed from the glass surface. Try holding the clip once, twice and three times, but the pot is slipped and went back to his pool of remover. He finally managed to fix it minimally, withdrew a few inches from the glass surface and it was then that the speck of the clamp slipped and fell. He instinctively put his hand to cut it off and there was to make of the glove. The man turned pale and started shaking. He knew that the glove did not resist, knew that the pot would adhere to the skin of his palm, and nothing was worse in this world that the mote attached to the body. He took off his glove with care and with the lens began touring the palm of his left hand. There was the deadly particle, in a meaty, four inches below the little finger, embedded in the skin with the most tenacious grip of the universe. Cleaner stood still, trembling with terror, staring at the window. He recalled with horror those videos that were shown during training, which was displayed the way the device acted when applied to the body of the victim. And never forget those screams ripping the soul nor the expression of their faces distorted by pain while the device is slowly transformed into a pit unfortunate to nowhere.
suddenly came to, he sought again the particle diabolical in his hand, and circulated with the green marker. He reached into a desk hard object. The rule of acrylic would be fine. Was placed in the mouth and bit down hard. Imbibed the blue brush the syrup remover, walked over to the palm brush, hesitated a moment on the green circle and landed in it with the bristles soaked in acid. He let out a roar drowned and voice and began to shake while you liquefy remover skin and the meat inside the circle to the stirring with a small bubble. A moment later he stopped shaking. Then he looked at his watch. They had to spend five minutes for the remover could snatch the speck of skin. He counted to three hundred sweaty, then checked his watch. Missing a damned minute fifteen. The pain was excruciating, but at any price should take that object away. Finally took the tweezers and a magnifying glass and then found the pot, very black, swimming in the brown pastiche. Mitigation should calm the trembling of his hand, which was amplified at the end of the clip. With extreme effort, unable to hold precisely the tiny device. Without departing from the view took him to the bottle with amber jelly and inserted inside, taking care not to touch the inside surface. He took off his headband magnifier and flashlight and gave a huff over the body and soul. The wound was cleaned with a tissue tending to throw everything in the special bag for waste. Then hand sprayed with a small spray. Performed the same cleaning the glass of the window. Threw everything in the bag. He opened a jar filled with more gelatin and what remained of the bottle, making sure the pot it absolutely surrounded by the gel. From the bottom of the bag under the tray of polyurethane, pulled out a small torch. Hold the bottle with a special clamp heated it for five minutes. He shook the jar and successfully verified that the curing of the gel was appropriate.
He took off his glove that he had, and kept everything in the bag equipment, including waste bag. After the hand was bandaged with gauze and tape. He wiped his sweat with a handkerchief and shaking aired chest jumpsuit inward and outward. The task was over. Grabbed the bag and walked toward the door before opening it tested two or three times a smile and took off from there. Good-bye
greeted beautiful, Leticia.
-you, so long in there, there will be no stranger in that bag right? "Teased the girl and in confidence.
The man went to his ear and said the joke overreacting discretion.
-I get to that Toledo put in a bottle, "he said.

That same afternoon, in the office of Javier Pastrana, his vice president discussed with him the details of the replacement of Toledo.
"Tomorrow is the replacement," said Pastrana. It's a jolly good fellow, with exceptional backgrounds in the analysis of current accounts. I dined with last week ... No, sorry, this week. I think it was Tuesday. Tomorrow I'll put in office. Eduardo
Yañiez, his second in command, nodded and refuted with elegance.
"You know, Javier, which some board members have another candidate for the job.
"I know very well, Yañiez, but with support, can not resist. I guess this story with you right? Yañiez
was a brief silence that immediately concerned about the boy.
"Of course, of course. I'm with you, but we should not underestimate the difference with the Board. I suspend the concurrence of its candidate tomorrow and send to study the history of both candidates to take time to conduct some intelligence on the subject. You and I know that the study report can be manipulated. Operation could take three or four days, but will shut the dissident directors. If you give me four days, I can deal. Pastrana
pondered while looking at his fingers and fingernails digging.
"Okay," agreed finally. This evening I extend the folder of the boy. I trust you.
"Leave it in my hands and forget Yañiez said and added," In four days and not have to deal with the problem. Consider it insurance. Yañiez
retired from office and Pastrana sat, thinking, as he rocked in his chair. Now he had entered the tip of a cap pen below his right index finger nail. Recently the board was showing little tame. Other shareholders were represented there. Discipline doubtless hereafter be increasingly complex. Fortunately Yañiez had was a skilled player in this field. Anyway, the fight it twitched. It was a power struggle, a scenario that should adjust. It's just that now, right now, the situation caused him anxiety irrepressible and kept digging the nail of his right finger with the nail of the left. Was it possible that the Board conspired, harass him to the limit and induced to sell his majority stock? Would there be a real risk of losing control of the company founded by his father? For a moment, surprised to Toledo, that was the past. And also surprised his recent still youthful excess: The Avenida del Libertador chopped at two o'clock, the wonderful excesses of sex and alcohol, cradled by the night of the city that never sleeps. The binge and lose control of two or three days without sleep. Would not it be better to leave this silly game of interests and return to the happiness that? Perhaps he was really too young for those battles at the summit. But his back and carried with Toledo. And after all the load was so heavy. Perhaps she really had a vocation to the command and you just have to get into the habit. And fortunately was Yáñiez, to hold it while maturing. And fortunately, too, was this persistent dirt under the nail of his right index finger, allowing him to dig and dig to alleviate their anxiety. It was a black speck, tiny, the size of a flea.

Funny Costumes With Crutches

speck on the High Seas Concert

She's beautiful

shipped the boat sails with his harp part with their art


tide tide and with some desconcieto
true
gives a concert with some success

from the confines and defines dolphins
parades in a single row
eel

notes that spring from the side and escape

wild hordes which confused
of eighths and sixteenths
demisemiquavers odds

insult to all morality from his hiding


coral snapped shut the girl scream and huddle

shut the beautiful

it strikes us that cracking of the harp
yells
carp on starting the harp
or girl Split Split
or
harp and the girl split

unconnected with the facts that every
alienates the child strives
them
press plays eager eyes writhing

temples and rock your body with some fluctuations

Hart
fauna of both stoicism

called the octopus which inhabits the
the bug giant abyss

tapaban slow approaching his ears a couple of sardines

the hold of a blow
belly up to the
Zapatazos
gave the girl moaning

one slimy, dark hole he missed the girl

their song and their spirit. And had that octopus

big upset when expelled

score harp and say the girl


train for revenge filled his belly dance steps

What To Write On A Funny Tombstone For Halloween

The Bache

rain fell in buckets just in time that we all work to home. As usual, some streets and began to drown the whole fleet started this absurd parade around looking for where to go out to the highway.
not without some hesitation, I encouraged him to a street that was not so committed. Me profile to cross the intersection, looked like a lake, and I ventured at first keeping the engine on fast.
I went the first ditch, got on the back of the side street and went back down in the second. But the second ditch proved to be a death trap. The car went into a slump immeasurable and started down and sink to miss completely under water. I felt a sound of broken iron engine, ahead, as he watched in despair as the water crept up the outer surface of the glass.
The car was out of control and the gap seemed to have no end. I descended a long way underwater, taxiing on a rocky bed with water seeping through the weatherstripping. I finally began to rise a bit until running aground in a gully of mud CHIRLA, and out of water.
vehicle went down trying to understand what had happened. This street was not flooded, across the ditch, it was a dark cave somewhere under the street.
looked back. The canyon was the clay banks of a river that ran black from left to right with good current. On the cliff and into the cave were scattered dozens, perhaps hundreds of cars stranded. Some were really old, almost all were rusted and showed signs of having been partially dismantled. All the shore like a junkyard motor.

- Boss! If it runs it will cover the water. Look it's raining a lot.
I looked inside the cave, squinting and silhouette appeared behind a faint yellow glow coming from the side.
"Look, I speak from experience. The river is full of junk that he ate the water.
- Are you from here? I asked.
"Nice. Julio, your service, "he said.
-Fabian replied. And we shook hands.
"From here, what is said here, I'm not. But did you see? Since I'm eight years ago, and the river that I know him well.
Julio was a man in his fifties, pure belly and ass. Halting the decline walked every step and wore rags that were once gabardine pants and shirt with short sleeves.
pointed into the cave and shouted
-Negrete, come there to run a car.
From the darkness came a giant. Measuring over two meters and was a bear. He shook my hand without saying a word, but I think it smiled. It was towards the rear of the car, turned his back to the trunk, grabbed the bumper of and moved about ten feet, all by himself, walking back up canyon.
-Ready Don Julio. Then we see where we put it, "he said.
As the hearing got used to the darkness, I began to discover the cave. It was a huge cave with mud walls sometimes wet, sometimes of old bricks. It penetrated perpendicular to the underground river and I could not see the end. Stuck to the walls of the cave were stationed around very precarious settlements, which were like cubicles separated by automotive scrap more or less flat. Trunk lids, roofs and doors were used for separation. People lived in each cubicle. Several of the inhabitants were at the entrance I always gave the aisle, sitting on car seats in a state of disrepair. Others roamed standing watching the scene of my arrival. Almost all dressed in rags. In the background listening to a radio telling a football game with a lot of interference.
- Where we are, Don Julio? I asked, still dazed with astonishment.
"This is the settlement of Cross-Bache said the man as he undertook the walk down the aisle of the cave. All of us here we were hitting the pothole. One day one, another day another did you see how it is? I'm eight years ago, but I'm not the oldest. I really took the river with two ribs broken. Do not know what it was. Not cure me more. But in the end and here I am healed. Eight years ago I am, now. You got lucky. Every so often we get some dead. It's a fucking hole.
walked by a surface embedded sound-absorbing panels covered in mud. The humidity was stifling. There were leaks everywhere, some important, dripping from the ceiling and the walls were large puddles on the aisle and into populated areas. Every so often we could hear waves of stench.
- Why where you can go from here? I asked. Don Julio
I looked between confused and compassionate, as if I had asked the most evil thing.
"Look, you first have to see where we put it. Where are you going to stay, where you will sleep. For the rest there is time. Yes, go to the car and remove everything you can. And close it well, with key. But rest assured, walk around Negrete dogs that are brave and scare off the kids. Tomorrow we tell Armando that you look a little. Amague
back to the car and stepped back hesitantly.
- Do you expect me here? "I said fear of a kid who starts school and fears that the mother leaves.
"Yes, go quiet man.
trotted to the car. Immediately checked that the cabin was flooded. I sat in the chair and could not resist giving starting to see what happened. Absolute death. I took the papers, sunglasses, keys and a few CDs. I missed not steal a packet of biscuits and things dry even the trunk. I closed everything and went back to the paunchy.
Now, we go deep in the street. Dwellings were separations
leaning against the cave wall, four or five meters wide. With the exception of a few, were not facing closure, and those who had had no door. There was no privacy. Another had a black and white TV, all invariably turned on and in the absence of spectators. The shacks were illuminated by lanterns, then I knew, they burned gasoline or diesel. Every so often there was any electrical lamp.
On the main street of the cave, three or four boys were playing in a puddle splashing brown swollen by rain. In one of the houses came a fat woman will cry with a provincial accent
- Stop messing with the pool, ché! Should be washed after all.
The woman was holding a little boy who did not reach the year, and apparently she was pregnant. Lacked most of his teeth.
"Ramona," said Don Julio. He has five children and is expecting a sixth. So they are. And there's a lot here. Embody is the first thing that happens and then cry poverty because they are filled children.
- How long ago is here?
-Ramona was born here. The father fell into the doldrums of a Fiat Grande Sewer 1500, I think. There coupled with a Chaco who died shortly after birth the baby. He came to Ramona to the Crossroads. But when the girl was twelve or thirteen, the man grabbed him not to shit your bones and died. So as you see, just the kid spends twenty. Now she is fat, but some years ago was a jewel.
After talking a little bit of the old charms of the young woman approached me and told me quietly.
- Do you see that morochito while kicking the water? "He said quietly one of the boys.
-Yeah, the one with the belly button out? "I looked for confirmation.
"Yes, that, the oldest one said. And stop looking at added
"It's mine.

walked in silence for a while and we turned into a narrow passage that opened to the left. The smell of human waste became more intense.
"This is an abandoned sewer out to the square. Pegaditas runs the sewer again, that there indeed, have no access. They are independent but during heavy rains, the sewage is filtered through the cracks and the smell brings it feels.
- How big is this system of sewers that you use?
-Immense. There is a city beneath the city. Not just the sewers. Over here are underground rivers, ancient tunnels, empty or half-empty webs. And to my knowledge, everything is connected. You can go to Congress to Morón walking down. Of course, you have to know where to grab. Don Julio
gesticulated and continually elbowed me as he spoke. It was brief silence and then took up the thread.
"There's a guy in Napa Dry plane was doing everything. I think it was the type mapper. I do not know if it will be over. Here we move a little bump where we fell and did not know where we are, I mean, what neighborhood sits above did you see?
- How many people live down here? Yes
lot. Who knows how many? He
silence and continued. Ever heard
-some three hundred thousand or three million, I do not remember. Many people, many people. Imagine, there are two hundred potholes Capital and say more than thousand in the suburbs. But who will tell people down here? Many are born and die many every day. And nothing is written down anywhere. Civil Registration "He does not have carcajadita-up and will not come down here to tell us did you see?
"But Don Julio, is an outrage that is all these people here living in the shit, apart from everything, and there are those monstrous potholes, swallowing cars since God knows when. How can we fix it? Then the fat
drove me almost fatherly look, as if I were a young man who knows nothing of life.
"Do not manage," he said because nobody gives a shit until it falls here.

the end of the old culvert opened an immense cavern sinking down hundreds of feet. From where we were, it was like a valley seen from the mountains. The houses are distributed without order, leaving a narrow, winding corridors that flow from time to time in alleys wide. Almost everything was lit with lanterns on gasoline and gray smoke accumulated against the huge roof of the cave.
- What is this? I asked, casting a chill.
-La Piazzetta "said Julio. Nice view right? I live here. This is the Centrito the settlement. From here there is hard to see, but beyond continues to fall and ends in an underground lake. Almost all the water we drink out of there. When heavy rain outside, the lake level rises and flooding all the houses that are on the shore. There's always some asshole that makes the house there. Oh, is that neither is leaving much space.
The fat man pointed his finger from high, as a tour guide uneducated. We started down a path that wound the wall of the cave. Every so often there are one staircase made of bricks to save some decline complicated. A long stretch of the hillside was a brick wall. The wall was very old and much was underpinned with a disorderly swarm of ties that held everywhere. Immediately after the wall, the land fell into a steep ravine that reached the first houses.
"This wall at any time comes. On the other side is active and when the sewer is filled to the brim, the pressure is tremendous and tremble all the bricks.
took us half an hour the bottom. Don Julio was panting and definitely had stopped talking. His silence on to my thoughts.
What was all this? Nourished people fall in potholes in the streets of Buenos Aires, the city had been built underground, consisting of slums, alongside rivers draining excrement from the surface. A city made for who knows how many neighborhoods, built with rusted car parts disgraced. What kind of nonsense was this? However, there stood before me the square, a black neighborhood that stretched out of sight, located in a cave whose immeasurable costs licked black layers of a potable water dubiously. View from the top, La Piazzetta was hell itself, with its fire multiply by a million street lights and smoke crushed against the ceiling without possibility of escape. Already deep in the village, everything was a swarm of ragged children playing in the mud, unaware of the sky and sun, making their games joy with no way to make raspberry to the underworld that, its mythical nature, must deal with suffering eternal inhabitants.
merged with the rust of the houses, all minds were rusty and no one spoke and out of there. What the hell can dispense with the need to escape for offenders? This can. Gradually I realized men killed in the potholes should devote such effort to live "everyday" in hell, that they had no impetus to feed the hope of returning to heaven. Some others, however, stayed because they were the devil, and in general it was difficult to distinguish from each other.
When Don Julio stopped panting, began to speak.
"Here it is always night. Most do not know what the sunlight, was born down here and not see it ever. But with the lanterns we managed fine. Fortunately we are well supplied with fuel. The gasoline business is the "Russian" Wyzocky. He has punctured the underground tanks of twenty or thirty service stations up and know how them out a day to not enliven. When I was up, the kind that worked, and he knows. Apparently, all the old tanks have leaks but losses when losses are girls not in their interest to fix them. They add water and ready. Imagine to have to fix up all the bowling.
stopped to greet a boy raising his hand ostentatiously. The other just up the thumb from his chair.
"We also have some power, because here are thick wires that go everywhere. The problem with electricity is to be distributed with cables and a brothel. With gasoline is easier, gets in a pan and bring to a car. Wheels exceed us.
Now that you mentioned, it was curious that both cars had no motor element in use. Small Square had some streets wide enough to move, but so far only seen two or three cars conspirators with pieces of body and blood drive. I asked.
-Cars that fall into the potholes are shattered and soaked to the crown. Walk no more. You can not fix almost never. And the few that will fix it to where they came.
"And the few that will fix it where it came from." My heart sank. "Go to where they came." I ran a racket marrow. "Go" "go" "go," sounded equalized in the middle of the skull.
- Excuse me? If I'm going under the car? And where do I go? "Look
Fernando ...
-Fabian.
-Fabian. ("I just said?) If you fix the car is going, yes, but it is best to have no illusions. Cases back to the surface are extremely rare and we never really know if the guy comes alive or dead. First you have the great fortune to fix the mechanics. Then we have to fight with the wiring. Usually it's all short-circuited and can not be fixed. And every time more complicated as the sons of bitches: that the power board, which multipoint injection. Today one throws a fart and a sensor that jumps for the entire car. Falling into the rut is always as easy, but getting out is becoming increasingly difficult.
"But those few, very few, that could have gone where do they go?
- So where will you go? They go to where they came. If you can fall from there to here, must also be able to go back and forth at this place. I wonder, Fernando. Nothing is lost, everything is transformed, as Isaac said Newman.
I was about to tell him that his name was Isaac Newton, Lavoisier was high and did not nothing to do with the reversibility of the trajectories. But I felt it would be like climbing Everest and he said only:
-Fabian.
- What Fabian?
-Yo. My name is Fabian.
After a while I knew all I needed. Once made up the vehicle, should take race to the river, and plunge into its waters with the highest possible speed. And once under water, should try to drive to the exit, which was seen as a hole of light, above. That was all. If he could repair the car, come out.
I felt a total peace. The gate was hell. And now he could think of other things, I changed the subject.
- Where to go, Don Julio?
"I took to Catalina. It is an old lady nice person, and you will see, his eyes betrayed a trapdoor. Recently it was emptied the nest and is sure to have a place for you.
Suddenly, from the tangle of kids, the fat girl caught pulling a half a braid undone.
- Did not the guy greetings? "He said.
The girl was about ten years old and very scared.
"Now, when I catch you again and I'll tickle.
The girl was released and fled to the race.
"In a couple of years will be about the little girl candy -Topped with a broad smile as he watched as the girl was lost in the village.
that time I wanted to get rid of that grotesque character. But I needed to get the mechanic. The mechanic would open the gate and I would get rid of that character and his world.
We arrived at the house of Catalina.
Behind a curtain of fabric that served as a door, emerged a grown woman, well past sixty. His hair was almost white-blond eyebrows and a brown almost black. Her face wrinkles sparse but thick, and were more a deepening of old features that wrinkles themselves. He had a threadbare robe ended eight inches above the knee and that was not enough to stave off mass of unsupported breasts.
I looked up and said Julio
- A Bachero newborn? Caty
"Yes, just right out of the water. And it comes at forty, I believe.
Old inspected as one buys me a slave. I turned around still looking at me from top to bottom.
- What you do not have to sleep, you?
I kept silent.
"There's languages. Will name?
"The boy called Fernando," said Julio making me a furtive grin urging me to show signs of life.
"Okay, fat, I'll take it, "said the old woman. And they went to a corner of the hut. They talked for a moment, Caty gave him a bag with clothes and went in July.
Before leaving he told me what happened
-morrow to look to see what the car.
I was left alone with the old. "Sit
Fer. You must be tired. Getting there is always a birth hurts like shit, but one gets used to the pain of living in a tomb and then left to tell. A client once told me: suffering is the subtraction between what you want and what you have, so to stop suffering, we must stop wanting what you can not have. And so we live down here, not like anything you see?. We are all Buddhist-made a chuckle, and that the majority ignores who the hell was Buddha.
As he spoke, Caty filled a glass with water half yellow.
-take, "he said. Already boiled. Here we boil the water thoroughly. Since we had the epidemic, boil the water.
I held the glass and looked at him with absolute confidence. The water had a soft aroma bath train station, and while the nose is denied, her throat was crying. Resolved the dispute covering my nose and drinking it all to the bottom as a remedy ugly.
"Stay calm. In a couple of days the smell of shit does not feel more.
I made a caress on the cheek from behind right while the left felt the slight pressure of her soft breasts. And far, far away from all reason, I did a beat incipient erection. Decided to talk to silence them. Caty
"Look, thank you very much for your hospitality, but I think leaving here as soon as possible, and I really hope not to stay those two days. And it would be very happy if I adjust the smell of the air. I'm still amazed by the existence of this world down here. When you leave I will tell them all so that come to serve. I'll make a big scandal. Caty
looked at me tenderly and stroked me more. Fer
"You know by now I was resigned to baptism," For many years I was the biggest whore of the square, something that the types and could have wished. And I heard a lot like you, new arrivals, with the plan of leave and notice. Most could not leave and for the few who were, I do not know whether to be notified, but no one came to rescue. Also, if I do not know how come they would go.
She left the chair, walked to a table and placed a large pot over a small fire.
"I am the daughter and granddaughter of Bachero. When my grandfather fell off the wagon, there were already people living here. Where do I go? You told me about the smell of shit and I almost did not already know. Who will go? "Don Julio? That is not going or fart. I like the little girls of twelve. Ends up in jail. Down here nobody cares. Are we going to get the kids? Where will they go?
chopped meat rare and threw into the pot. "From here
will not be anyone out there not because the other side but because everything is full. "You want advise? "He added. I tell you already know.
After a while we were dining in the light of a lantern that burned a dirty rag soaked in gasoline, over a table full of muffins rusty.
-The roof of a 600 plates with hammers, "he said. The legs are the original studs, "he added proudly.

The food was delicious - What is it? Asked near the end of the second plate.
-Mole with fungi. Knows you never ate rabbit rabbit?
I stayed a few seconds trying to register the mole. I thought of Topo Gigio.
"But the mole is a mouse," I said thinking aloud.
"Actually, mice are very small. This is like a mouse, but the size of a rabbit or a cat.
- Rat! I yelled and I stood up, looking at the plate. Caty
laughed pulling back his head. The old and the pot was now a witch and her cauldron.
- What did you expect Fernandito back to mushrooms? No dear. Here we eat fungus, rats, rat, yeast and fungi with rat. Another thing there is. Of course, there are a thousand varieties of fungi and each gives his treat. Did not you say you liked? Now calm down What you gonna do? And what you ate. And I calmed
What would I do? I had already eaten.
chatted for a while. He told me he lived on barter. That was a bounded but continuous exchange with the above, that for a few holes, some people from the area, mostly Asian, I went to sew and mend clothing, job change and gave him all sorts of objects: Televisions and radios used, the time of the canteen, spices, dishes, clothes, all kinds of things in general had to work hard for little, but as they are fumbling to keep merchandise that is "lost" in the round, there were so many dresses and clothes inside girl, who ended up using them as currency. Finally plotted in tune chacarera:


Two rats are three
Three rats pants, a dress
The chop with an ax

To add to guisito
The song was but I got distracted trying to calculate how many panties were a dress.
talked a long time the old, but the dinner brought to drowsiness and lethargy, sleep. And I closed my eyes in the middle of the class.
had a single bed, very big, but very one. It was made of tires flat on the floor, sound-absorbing ceiling panels, door and trunk and a few blankets to try vainly to smooth up all the above. Caty took off his shoes and lay down. I watched a few seconds and asked
- What about me where I sleep?
-A my right or left. Where you prefer.
I spent the next few minutes in a tangle of discourse, trying to explain that I wanted nothing to do with it ... but she was very attractive ... well, despite his age ... he was not noticed at all ...
-lay down Go , doze and Stop fooling around, "he said with a reassuring tone of rebuke.
I lay down and fell asleep watching a window formed by two doors with window, arranged one after the other.
I woke in the middle of the night with the heat of a wet dream and I could not help noticing that the old woman lying naked, his head nestled in my crotch, back and forth, up and down. And also, I learned that part of my body was awake before me.
cocked his head toward the window. The neighborhood was asleep and snoring. In the distance, the wall buttressed with ties seemed to explode, and its old bricks and sewage flowed from Buenos Aires, dripping in bright trickles down came together and formed a delta that was hugging brown houses. I turned my head forward. The thing was getting pretty. For a moment I forgot about the bump, the cave, rats and shit down like a river right there took me to the mattress old tires. What would I do?
We were lying on your back looking at ways of smoke that covers the roof of the cave. Caty
wanted to talk.
- Do you know? Since leaving prostitution me wanting to get back. Look who is fucking human. Old now I lavish free than previously charged a penny. He
silence like waiting for the counterpoint. I remained silent.
"And the worst is that there are hardly any guys. Except for those who fall for the bumps, others are dying younger and younger. That itself is full of guys. Of course, parenthood is easy and even fun, but raising them, that's the hard part. Most die from an infected scrape. He
inviting silence again. I remained silent and she continued talking.
He told me of a place called Napa Seca, a cave larger than ten Pavilions, populated up to the slopes and a constant tingling crowded the streets around the clock in the evening.
made another silence and I remained silent.
- Are you listening? Snapped.
-No.
"You're thinking otherwise stating asked.
"Yes.
- Let's see, tell me. What are you thinking? -Modulated with the tenderness of a man who hopes to finally broken, banished to hell, longing for paradise, baring his soul jerking sobs.
I squinted and dispatched me to the problem. "If two rats
are three pants and three rats a dress, then a dress pants are four and a half right?
"Yes, it can be said with disappointment.
"Tell me, Caty, Why not adopt directly the equivalence of a simple five-dress pants? Caty
hesitated and asked, genuinely interested.
- And as payment a rat?
had not thought of that.
- Now as the payment? I asked.
"With a dress and three panties back. And I fucked
.

side I stood, looking out the window and went back to sleep.
After two hours of heavy sleep, the old and I jumped out of bed shaken by a prolonged roar and noise of big things that got broken. I looked out the window with a headache that gets to the soul and a truck wheel drawn on the back. Filled with your cream sewer stink, all underpinned with sleepers wall had collapsed. The debris rolled a hundred yards into a tailspin and shacks destroyed closer. Behind the debris broke through with a thunderous sound the abominable sewage flow, flowing like a river up the slope to be shortcomings in the plain. Half of the square was flooded.
The old jumped out of bed and began to move packages from the floor to the table. Her naked body was now the sensuality of a flatworm. The packages were piles of pants and dresses in all colors. He mountain on the table and continued piling more on the shelves a modular. The old was a millionaire. When finished save the last packet, a thick, brown water began to seep under the shade of entry.
The smell of feces slapped me I wrinkled her nose and all the muscles of the face. I managed to cover my tracks with a rag either. Later I realized that was the baton from the old. The water reached the middle of the tires and made little waves that lapped the blankets of the bed. I sat up and sank in-the velvety soft manure. I hung up the baton on the back of old shirts and pants fit me, enchastrando everything.
went outside. The neighborhood woke up with a scintillation lanterns were lit everywhere. Since the drain was broken down a good flow. Brown soup had already designed a channel running through the houses and fearless emptied into the lake. The shouting began to gain the street. A makeshift squad climbed the path of the slope and came to the scene. Soon, scores of boys was picking up a barricade of earth to seal the wound drain. Meanwhile, debated over what would be the best solution, sitting on a square in the upper area. That'sa
"Caty said suddenly, and pointed out the sewer-your door.
I looked at her with a racket which contrasted with the world.
- What?
, I believe, that takes you straight to sewer Brook. Several miles away, but if you dare ...
Of course I encouraged. We walked together to the start of the steep ravine. I gave him a kiss of soap and began to climb. From below, I hear me scream.
-I followed the course of shit, that shit gets you. I nodded
½ trunk. I got up, I filtered out through the hole of the collapse dodging the guys who were hauling dirt. For five seconds I saw the lazy flowing of a turd, and headed to the right.
After the second curve the darkness became absolute and had to grope the wall to recognize the forwards and backwards. Besides the stench, there were things that moved, I touched her legs and ran away with a tiny splash. Endured the trip thinking about his destiny, and at times humming of the farmers of the old.
After a while impossible to measure with clocks, I saw a light ahead, hitting against the next side of the pipe. Arrive at the elbow and saw more light on the next. I rounded the last bend and there in the background blinded me a semicircle. It was the end of the course. After flying from the distant sun to vent, light turned into a gold foil to the surface steaming manure. Beyond the hole lay the Riachuelo, and sewage were to me a paradise of light and color and air and blue sky. Drain the pasta in excrement and tannins and energetic arm movement to shore. What evil zombie film holywoodense, left the mud flaps covered grass mash. And like a dog scratching his back, I wallow in the grass of the bank to clean as the thickness of the patina. I was lying face up with the exhausted body and look out of focus, pinned against the roof of the world.
's odyssey was over the hump.

piled After Hours. I walked until he found one end of the Federal. I asked him to take me to the police station. The boy spoke by radio to a head in disbelief.
"If Chief, a male.

-Brrubrrrrubrrru ... "The male is in a state ... is full of shit, boss.
-Brrubrrubrrruparrracá.
-Yo, well, the patrol did not go up, Chief.
- Brrubrrubrrubrru?
"Affirmative. To the ears.
I came for an assault truck. I hosed down naked in the courtyard of the sectional. Clean clothes and gave me great and took me to the office of a Deputy Inspector Pineiro.
"Sir ..." he read my name on paper, Ruben Fabian Lopez You mean where the fuck you got?
I explained the story in short, waiting for his surprise. The man repeated the story undaunted, summarizing a bit more.
-MHU "he said. He fell into the sewer and was with the guys who live in the sewer. Finally came out of a pipe that gives the Riachuelo. So we find it so. Makes sense.
It turned out forms without taking his eyes off and continued.
"Well, there is no crime here so that you can go. We gave notice to his wife to come here with a change of clothes. The poor woman was very worried. It is much appreciated ... I stood
Head to retire and I stopped.
-One more thing, Lopez. You know ... Check your clothes and underwear, did not find silence to beep his cigarette as he nailed me a defiant look. I did desperately memory. He continued.
- How strange no? Most people wear underpants under trousers. I do not think they exist because they were shit out right?
the rush of the flood in the square, I had forgotten his underwear in the old.
-Go-topped with leniency. And I suggest you tell your wife to another story.
I got home and I went into the bathroom. I showered to clean up the last bit of manure. The soapy water was swirling down the drain and left the world. I showered again to cleanse the soul of all that absurd nightmare. The water was swirling down the drain and my presence was clean. Then I took a shower to wash the memories, and the water came and went. Then I felt a breakdown in the womb, I sat on the toilet and dismissed all the filth of that cauldron. Press the clear water tank and a stained blue sky with the disinfectant pad and washed the pot leaving bright and fragrant, while his offensive load for the pipes sunk and disappeared with my magic dignified presence, losing God knows where, away from me, away from civilization, away from all of us. And at the end of my toilet I saw the white wash, clean, shiny and fragrant. I held the cup of mouthwash, I filled it with water and lifted it toward the toilet.
-toast to civilization, "I said aloud.
did not feel guilt. I was up. So God willed it, our Lord and Father of all creation.
The following were the days to forget and forget. Willfully forget, to forget thoroughly. I caught the memories when they appeared and imagined sinking into the ground or burst into a ethereal glitter. So I killed the pothole, to the cave, Don Julio and the old. Little by little I started getting rid of all the elements of this abominable affair. And occupying the space, my life became comfortable bourgeois River Plate, with a job, a house, a wife and children, parent meetings at school, and trips to the tennis club, and family gatherings on Sundays, and fired talks local policy.
One day I had no memories. Did not return the images or voices or smell. That day I was free. I was aware at all times and not a single memory. And the next day, and the other, and everyone else. The bump was gone. And I was happy. I opened
Half floor blinds and aspired to the Buenos Aires friend. Behind me Mozart filled the spaces of the house, at low volume, resblando gently on the porcelain. I wanted to laugh with joy and uttered a laugh. I like singing and I sang. And so, singing, I saw that on the fateful memories frozen block, work submerged in the depths of the unconscious, survived as an iceberg that yearns for the sky, bringing the horror of my throat was stuck forever in this song chacarera bitch:

Two rats are three
Three rats panties, a dress
The chop with an ax

To add to guisito