Max answered the phone Manducci
-Funeral Manducci, good morning.
Across the line, a broken voice pronounced.
"Good morning. Call to hire a funeral service.
"I understand. Tell me when he died the deceased?
"Maria Elena died this morning, but ..." In God rest
-sandwiched Manducci to trade.
"But ... I also wanted to know if you perform services for pets.
three seconds it took the dealer's body to understand that there would be a good slice.
"Of course, of course, invented. We have performed services for dogs, cats and even a parrot, poor thing. The rate is slightly higher for the costs of setting you understand? But the service can be performed perfectly. What race was the animal?
-Aberdeen Angus.
- Pardon?
-Aberdeen Angus. Maria Elena was our cow.
After the last sentence, the debt was a lump in the throat and Manducci, one in the brain. But the man was quick to untangle knots when it is immersed in a long screed compelling commercial, always with the care of inserting a great deal of sympathy between the numbers and rates.
Barrientos Teodoro Elisa Linares and formed a mature marriage. They had two daughters, a son and thirteen grandchildren. For some years, his fourth son, Emmanuel, the only one still single, had died in a car accident, driving a deadly dagger in marriage parent.
But lo! Emmanuel had a cow.
The rest of the story is clear: Parents honored for her missing son taking over the care of cattle. Over time, the animal was filling the spaces affective Emmanuel had left empty. Then the stories of Maria Elena began to count for the whole family. The cow was very clever, asked for more hay with a rolled her ears, roared when visitors came to the house, he had learned what exact site of the park was defecating and said that giving kicks to the ground, was able to count to six, and even up to seven.
Maria Elena was the darling of the toy thirteen grandchildren, whom rode like a horse and I pulled the tail without the poor animal never attacked them. Augustine was the most attached to her and after much struggle, had succeeded his father bought him a calf which he named Huey. But Huey was not like Maria Elena. Not learn even the most simple. On rainy days it was common that sits in the dining room under the table, and if there called nature, there will respond with overwhelming response. The park was a disaster because Huey green leaf used to browse much dared to be born in the garden, including some time, a Western Railway jersey the wind had come off the clothesline.
Maria Elena was the reason of life of Theodore and Eliza, and all domestic dialogues invariably results in the account of the things he did Maria Elena. Both the large family
marriage as their friends and neighbors were aware of the situation and greeted with joy the way the cow had helped these people cope with the death of his son. María Elena So not only was a cow of his house cow was also popular. And anyone who knew the story could surprise you that want to watch.
Around three in the afternoon, a truck brought the body to the livery stable. Hazy and the bereaved, she was discharged with a forklift and left lying on the floor. Manducci
instructed
their people-This is the largest crate we'll put it right here, "he said.
Argañaraz, the oldest employee of the house, and also responsible for preparing the body for display, scratched his head doubtfully gesture and expressed his qualms with simplicity.
"It will not go, Don Manducci. This box is for a fat man, and this is a cow. And it's not the same thing: instead of going down, legs out to the side. "Come
Argaña" said the businessman's coffin, you know like this work. The families just want to see her face, and a bundle resembling a body under the blankets. Break off until it fits. That said
left.
Around four in the afternoon we opened the doors of the room. The card read simply "Maria Elena, Room 1." Began to arrive immediately summoned. Elisa and Theodore, the former. Teodoro
marched to the office because we had to figure out where you bury the body.
"The problem, Mr. Linares, is that cemeteries are only human.
"Maria Elena was more than one person, brought Theodore as if the argument were to be used for something.
"Of course it was, but the cemetery has a regulation regarding the body where the person was involved. They do not bury people buried bodies Do I understand? And now that Maria Elena is no longer with us, what remains is the body of a cow. Theodore insisted
and pounded until medium of exchange, Manducci leave a door open.
"Maybe we can talk to someone to make things easier in exchange for some" attention currency "Do you understand? I could give it a try if you authorize me to handle this variable.
"Of course they authorize. Do whatever you have to do. Maria Elena is buried in a cemetery, "he said.
Meanwhile Elisa, the first inhabitants of the room, he went straight to the mortuary to see Mary Elena in her final resting place. Argañaráz
had done a good job. The coffin was wide and deep, but well proportioned. It had a domed profile and a streak of myrtle as bright as the glass. At its periphery were prepared twelve carved brass handles and polished to dazzling, five on each side, one front and one behind. Inside the coffin was the cow. His whole body was hidden under a blanket very white with gold embroidery, finished the top with a detail of sheer chiffon and tulle. Emerging among the reeds, and plunged into a sweet dream of heaven, Mary's head surfaced Elena leaning to the right, with the peace of a little boy stayed frozen in face, and then a stretch of front leg sticking out at the height of the snout, with its pristine and glowing hoof, arranged almost in a fetal position. On the blanket, covering the body lengthwise, surmounted a red rose drenched in dew. Manducci had not dared to hang a rosary. Of the other legs, nothing was known, but it was sure no one would ask for them.
"Looks like a little angel Elisa muttered in a tone of prayer, and burst into tears. And crying in the cow, in the depths of his soul, was crying to Emmanuel.
The room was quite spacious and cozy row of couches and chairs were available against the walls. At the bottom there was a wall with an archway to the left that gave way to the mortuary. The wall was decorated with volcanic slabs and a cascade of water ran through permanently, tumbling over a huge flower bed packed with ferns and begonias. Since hanging up a cordatum guides olive green cloth across the space to stand on the mat of ferns.
One by one they arrived the Linares, the Barrientos and a host of neighbors and acquaintances. Each group that came gave his condolences to Elisa and Theodore and made a comment such as "when they are so better go fast, poor things" or the trite "is the law of life", or worse. Then greeting the known and fairly well known, began crossing between relatives intergenealógicos almost unknown, channeled provided by a third party, both familiar and known.
"I remember Uncle Edward, the cousin of your father. Well, he is the grandson, Paul, your second cousin, or third, "said the relative channeler.
"Oh yes. You were a little boy who always had a cap with a visor, sometimes remember seeing you at Uncle Edward, "said the first family member.
"Yes, now I've removed the cap, but the hair I have left alone, look," responded the second parent when the time showed how ruthless had become bald on his head.
The problem occurred when someone came largely unknown and no one approached to say hello. Among them, about three hours of condolence and sandwiches de miga entered an octogenarian woman holding a big boy and some parallel.
-The billboard read, "Maria Elena" said the old woman. I do not remember exactly, but I think Peter's sister was named Maria Elena.
- Are you sure that this is Grandma? I do not see anyone I knew.
"It must be here, but I do not see Pedro anywhere.
After a few minutes of hesitation, she decided to ask. "Sorry
Is this the boy's wake María Elena? Yes
grandmother is here.
"You saw Reuben, is here," said the big man reproachfully as the boy tried to understand what it would have served the question.
- Let's go to the mortuary there must be Peter.
While leaving, very slowly, the old woman spoke to feel less alone among so many unfamiliar faces
"Look how beautiful crowns," he said. We did not bring or a flower.
And he read aloud the names of the bands that crossed the dough floral
- "Los Linares", "Los Barrientos" Who will? "He thought. "Your neighbors", "your masters" Ah, that bad taste. Finally
old stone statue was in front of the cow in the drawer. Her gaze was frozen as a glass, in a gesture of looking to the Devil. He put a hand on his chest and crossed to the other. With absolute incredulity spied the sorrowful face of the other and back at the cow. Then looked down at the floor without changing expression.
"Let Reuben. Here it is, "he said while watching the ground carefully.
He turned and walked away quickie, shuffling, and without looking at anyone. He left the sidewalk and turned left. Averaging the block reflected.
"How has all changed.
A good while later, everyone present turned to see enter Jorgito Augustine with her calf.
-stressed bring, "said the father. And I thought that after all, in the wake of a cow, a calf would not have to clash. Huey
impressed those present during the first five minutes, then lost in the crowd already crowded room.
The children of Theodore and Eliza took the opportunity to catch up each other's lives because the urban evolution kept away, each on its own, and not met since Christmas. Between talk and talk, were fixing dinner for after the funeral, taking a little further to distract their parents and away from the trouble.
Meanwhile, Huey had managed to claw their way to the planter and parsimony was eating ferns, begonias and cordatum. Manducci appeared from nowhere to stop the mess.
-service We have a pasture for livestock in the backyard of the premises, "said the father of Augustine. If I could drive there the animal, which will no doubt be more comfortable. And with that, Huey took to the funds and threw in a little courtyard ten coffins of five crammed dilapidated, broken chairs and tall weeds.
In the hall, a group of old it was thanks to Melissa, the youngest of the grandchildren of Linares.
"That pretty, so seriecita" said one.
"And well it carries, has not cried all afternoon," said another.
-Si-he said the mother, is a rare drink. When expressed is to express something that could not possibly know. One day, while walking through the middle, stretched with two hands to the window of a gaming agency. We get closer and the girl began to laugh out loud while pointing to a National Lottery ticket. We never played, but still recorded the number. Would you believe that out the next day? Matched all five digits the unfortunate.
"Ah, my dear friend," said Manducci, who was listening sideways. You should know that if a child points out a number, you have to buy it immediately.
"Yes," replied the mother, but not just with numbers. Listen to this: We had a very good babysitter, girl, studying to become a kindergarten teacher and treated him like a stuffed doll. But every time he approached Melissa, the girl rejected her with kicks and slaps. Finally we discovered that we were stealing clothes out of the drink. And as that story many others. Melina Sometimes it scares me. "But
a beautiful, "he said Manducci drink. Allow me to lift it a little.
The employer raised the child, she looked at him seriously and began to push. Gave a few kicks in the air accompanied by a spasmodic abdominal movements then began to expel a foul smell.
"I think you need a diaper change," said the man with a deformed smile in disgust. She is the mother returned and took off from there.
eight o'clock of the night showed up two employees of the mortuary house, dressed in tight black tuxedo. One of them asked the families and friends to leave the room, it was time to start preparing the coffin to initiate courtship.
inconsolable crying face of Theodore and of all women, the lid of the coffin was laid in place, forever taking the earthly image of Maria Elena.
sooner had vacated the place, closed the door of the arcade and the box moved to a garage where a waiting refrigerated transport parked butt. Manducci had a word with the driver and provided guidance to its staff. The men removed the blanket may be embroidered to the front leg with the muzzle sticking out was really loose, completely detached from the body, which, in short, had maimed the four legs and tail. Cow pulled from the drawer and climbed laboriously to refrigerated truck, in which ten or twelve and hanging carcasses. Another employee added a bag with the missing parts. The car locked the doors and left. Then
drawer filled with sand and screw the lid tightly. Return the mortuary drawer and opened the door of the archway leading into the room.
employee who officiated as master of ceremonies asked twelve male relatives to carry the coffin to the hearse, which was waiting on the sidewalk. Then twelve knights presented themselves to the task. What a miserable plight. Manducci had miscalculated the load of sand and the box had an excessive weight. The volunteers had to hold the handles with both hands to move the coffin. One way sloppy and rushed the Dirty Dozen load dragged out, trampling old and young children, and heavily deposited in the hearse with great sound of a collision. Finally
started the procession. Later the vehicle was portacoronas full of flowers, followed the hearse. Further back, three escort cars in black, carrying the first marriage Linares and the other two families with daughters. Progressed behind the truck's father Augustine, with the whole family piled into the booth and Huey terrified in the box. Back, following the calf, marched everyone else.
The entourage of about twenty cars in total, inched to honoring sandbox, crossing streets and avenues, causing traffic chaos. He went first to the residence of Linares, where the cow had lived his happiest days. She stood there a few seconds, that Huey took to low and defecate on the bed of the truck and continued their march to the cemetery.
were admitted by a side door about ten o'clock at night. Schedule was not used for burials, but it was the tour of duty of the officer had been bribed. They walked in the darkness of the grave and the ghostly glow of souls and parked in front of a large cubic building.
I take notice of unusual weight of the coffin, arranged a table with wheels and moved it to the niche.
The tomb was a rectangular hole in a wall provided plagued distributed marble tombstones form a huge grid, which was lost in the depths of the hall. From time to time, some flower oblivion designated scorched more effectively than its absence, showing only the absence of the cult of the dead, their implacable inconstancy.
All persons descended from the vehicles and piled in the hallway, on the edge of the box.
Soon came a Bible and rosary priest. Stood to one side of the grave and began his final speech. He spoke slowly with a metallic and monotonous voice inviting a nap most to tears. He spoke of the immortal soul, of heaven, the resurrection of souls and a subject in a chair, the right hand of God. Part of the audience wept without listening to the imminent culmination time, another part yawning surreptitiously and a few followed the thread with puzzled faces. When the sermon and averaged fifteen minutes, an aide approached the priest and said something to him. The priest looked upset and protested quietly.
- A cow? How does a cow?!
improvised a last sentence, crossed himself to the drawer Sandy, crossed himself, said amen, took two steps back, he took both her hands in front, turned his head toward the close friend and an embarrassment that all drawn on the forehead, whispered inquiring again.
- A cow?
cemetery staff pushed to the bottom drawer of the rectangular cavity and covered the grave with a marble ceremonially screwed to the wall.
Attendees began evacuating the hall with countless acts of comfort to the nearest relatives, who wept inconsolably. Before you get into cars, Linares, parents and children were in the alley round the tombs that surrounded and finalized details go to dinner. Someone suggested a bar outside, against the collector of the Autopista del Oeste. Returned to the funeral home to remove the cars and marched towards the canteen.
parked at 45 degrees from the restaurant and fell forward with a window that showed some excellent ribs roasting on an iron cross.
-long has it as roast beef, "said Elisa.
staff quickly arranged the tables next to each other forming a long feast around which sat the four families with all children. Unanimously decided to order different cuts of steak, ribs, flank steak vacuum and then sausage, black pudding, intestines, kidney lemon and gizzard. To accompany fittings ordered different salads, rice timbales and fries. The great red wine would take home and children soda and water.
few minutes later came the owner of the bar and offered to release Jorgito to paste in the gardens that surrounded the place, not so much generosity as for convenience. There could be no better advertisement for the freshness of the roast live calf grazing in the park. Soon they brought
ordered, arranged in three tabletop grill, with coals and hot dishes. Next meeting is encouraged. The older children served and everyone ate beef until they burst.
"The beef must be accompanied with red wine Theodore taught that alcohol and degreased, clean arteries.
After a while eating, the kids got bored and started to lie with the rib bones, in the glare of their parents who were more afraid that people's eyes to the excesses of their children. For its part, the eldest son of Theodore had drunk too much, speaking by shouting obscenities and kill with laughter. Elisa, whom he loosened the risorius alcohol, accompanied his son in the laughter and they infect the rest.
At one point, Theodore stood up at the top of the long table and gesturing with his fork lashing on a piece of flank steak, said.
"I propose a moment of silence in honor of our beloved and recently deceased María Elena.
There was silence at the long table, under a background of tinkling whisper dishes and some irreverent, all processed the death of two cows, one with the soul, the other with the belly. And no one even suspected that under Manducci trap, to the same cow could be separated in their minds as "food" on one side and Maria Elena on the other, rest in peace. Clear that the probability was very low and that if that were the case, eventually nobody would know. Or maybe, because there, ignored on his mother's lap, averaging a minute of silence, Melina little hands pulled forward, grabbed a piece of meat, brought it to his mouth, then pulled it out, looked at him, noted with astonishment the faces of all present, their lungs inflated to saturation, closed his eyes, grimaced pain and burst into loud weeping, disconsolate, annoying.
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